Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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