He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize