Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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