it wasn't lemon gatorade
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't deserve a penis
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
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