Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
