Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
