just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
