The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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