so let's talk penis.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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