Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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