my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
