it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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