i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize