I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize