Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
