You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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