You made me cry and you don't even care
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
