Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
