I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
NoShamevember. You game?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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