there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize