its not stalking. its research.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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