maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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