You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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