Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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