I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
