Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
