I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
