...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
