Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
