I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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