...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
