Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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