I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
pray to the hookup gods
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
