she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
