4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I have post one night stand depression
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