How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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