I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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