Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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