We won't sleep together?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
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