She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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