that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize