im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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