life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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