roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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