Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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