bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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