Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
