I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
