Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
