Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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