we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
