nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
