i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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