my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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