Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
