guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the day after is always just damage control
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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