Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think I am morally bankrupt
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You made out with two different species that night
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
