i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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