Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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