hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
