It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
