Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
