eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize