I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There r osticjed everywhere
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
