..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You were trust falling into bushes
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
