Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
