The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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