I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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