Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
